Sunday, 11 November 2012

Flim-Flam - On Meeting Oscar Wilde

Flim-Flam


Imbibing some beers at the bar down my local
the fop Oscar Wilde was dandiacally vocal:

"Drop a flan,
my good man,
in bathtub of water;
it won't plunge
like a sponge --
now jot this in your jotter --
it will sit on the surface
like a leaf on a pond.
It's science, not magic!
Just logic --
no wand!"

I headed home via the shop
to buy a flan, which I did drop
into a bath which I had filled
with water, and was I so thrilled
to see it float like Oscar said?
I was sad and shocked and dismayed ...

Well, the flan did not float
like a little baked boat,
but sunk,sodden, soft mush
to the base of the tub,
brown and sugary slush.
What a waste of good grub!

Never again shall I trust Oscar Wilde!
The ultimate dandy has got me riled;
for I discovered to my annoyance,
that Oscar knows fluff-all of flan-buoyance.

                                                                      (c) Frank Rooney

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